then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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