Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just had sex on a roof
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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