wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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