She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
