So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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