Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
tell me about the fingering
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