i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
