i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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