I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
