You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
