2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
