Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
