There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
