those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
