She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
