Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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