he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
