It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
