No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons