that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction