when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.