I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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