I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
