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• (516): View more from New York

  i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.

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• (760): View more from California

  She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.

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• (626): View more from California

  You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin

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  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.

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• (760): View more from California

  I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

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• (315): View more from New York

  We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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• 

  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.

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• (310): View more from California

  Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.

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