Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.

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  (732): Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD. http://tfl.nu/fbqj
  Replies (9) Good night (622) Bad night (3161)
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  (559): View more from California

  you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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  (559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you http://tfl.nu/hdb5
  Replies (17) Good night (1089) Bad night (4071)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  What?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a yeast infection.

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  (314): I'm bakin' bread in my pussy! (1-314): What? (314): I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/o2ns
  Replies (180) Good night (2251) Bad night (28768)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.

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  (586): there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control. http://tfl.nu/uxm4
  Replies (13) Good night (1708) Bad night (3722)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.

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  (614): There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs. http://tfl.nu/ysqt
  Replies (10) Good night (3281) Bad night (1260)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.

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  (727): josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry. http://tfl.nu/3vhb
  Replies (6) Good night (2856) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.

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  (502): We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice. http://tfl.nu/njob
  Replies (3) Good night (2190) Bad night (609)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"

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  (610): There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division" http://tfl.nu/egg0
  Replies (2) Good night (1451) Bad night (502)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.

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  (606): Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK. http://tfl.nu/wl4e
  Replies (1) Good night (643) Bad night (409)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable

  (303): View more from Colorado

  thermos full of jaeger bombs?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Affirmative

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  (720): She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable (303): thermos full of jaeger bombs? (720): Affirmative http://tfl.nu/e05o
  Replies (3) Good night (1047) Bad night (383)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more

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  (305): The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more http://tfl.nu/xgx0
  Replies (6) Good night (519) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.

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  (908): I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door. http://tfl.nu/eaki
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.

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  (519): Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf. http://tfl.nu/i5lg
  Replies (2) Good night (833) Bad night (236)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.

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  (813): I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom. http://tfl.nu/xrv4
  Replies (6) Good night (262) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."

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  (401): Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel." http://tfl.nu/en31
  Replies (0) Good night (633) Bad night (161)

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