he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
