I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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