Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
