i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
