I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
