He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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