the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
why is half of my head shaved?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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