call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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