in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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