Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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