Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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