You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
