Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
