So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
