just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
