I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
