I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
