this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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