I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just want nice things and good sex
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
