Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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