Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
