Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
