How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
