yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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