his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
