yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
