i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
