She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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