we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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