I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
