From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
where does the pee come out of this thing
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
