Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
