No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
