Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
