I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
