help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
