Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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