the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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