I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
