Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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