Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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