super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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