i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
