The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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