Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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