Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
