I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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