Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
