that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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